Spirit Realm - Is It Really There?

I make no bones about the fact that this blog is for Christians.  With that reminder to the readers, I speak from experience (recent and painful experience) about the battles that go on in my life between the good and evil.  I take this very seriously - more seriously than I used to.  This is not a symbolic or metaphoric game of tug of war.  I believe that battles in the spirit realm are real, the stakes are high, and the struggle is ugly. 

The first thing you need to have a grasp on is that we Christians were created by God to have a free will.  I am free to make my own choices.  At times the choices I make serve to develop my relationship with God to deeper levels of love and understanding.  At other time, my choices are in the opposite direction and I move away from God.  God created us all with the ability to choose.  He wants us to come to him of our free will and not because he programmed us to follow him.

No one has a greater understanding of free will than satan.  After all, he was the first to exercise it.  He left the presence of God.  What's more, he exploits that understanding of our free will and puts his demons to work on us.  Doubt, depression, poor self image, apathy, and fear are all tools in satan's tool box.  He uses them all (sometimes all at once) to keep us from making decisions that will develop a better, closer walk with our God.

If satan can use the tools at his disposal to keep me from being an effective follower of God and keep me from being an example of human decency and morality to the world, his work is going well.  That's what the last week has been for me.  I've been lazy, beaten down, discouraged, irritable, and a pain in the butt to live with.  There are good reasons for all these things.  The devil has given me all sorts of very plausible reasons to justify my behavior.  After all, who wouldn't act this way given the circumstances, right?  

Choices.  Pure and simple.  I have made the decision to be lazy.  I have made the decision to quit when I've been discouraged instead of seeking help and encouragement from my support network.  I have heard the voices on my shoulder saying "If you call again, people are going to start thinking you're a head case and they won't want to talk to you anymore".   And naturally, all of these things snowball into a bad attitude toward my wife, my kids, and life in general.  I have come to resent anyone who has a job and has their bills paid.  

I also believe that being aware is half the battle.  If I understand what's happening in the spirit realm I am empowered and I can be a better warrior.  If I know that my attitude is bad because there's a battle going on, I can make a greater effort to read my Bible and to spend more time in prayer.  I know that I have to stay in contact with the friends and family in my support network so they can encourage and strengthen me.  

One final note.  If you're a Christian, any changes you make in your life to move closer to God or to do God's work in your life WILL be met with resistance in the spirit realm.  If you're not a Christian, any movement you make toward God WILL be met with resistance.  Satan will put any and all of his resources to use to keep you ineffective and apathetic.  He's happy as long as you don't make any bold moves toward God.  

Be aware.  Be strong.  If you need help, there's help here.  We can't help you if we don't know you're there.  

Thanks for taking the time.

Discontent - A Lesson from the Sports World

It's the active time of the off season for the NFL which causes me to listens closer to ESPN Sports Radio than I usually do. Summer is the start of the organized team activities, trades, injury lists, and other things that get all of my juices flowing for the upcoming football season - which is the only sport that I follow avidly. And along with all the NFL news on the radio is basketball playoffs and finals, NHL Hockey finals (Go Wings!), and the never ending baseball season.

There is something I've seen happening a couple of times last year in college athletics. This year I've seen it happen in the major league sports and it's becoming standard operating procedure. This year the coach of the Detroit Pistons, Flip Saunders, was canned for not being able to bring the team to a national championship. Basketball people will argue that Flip is not a playoff coach and that the regular season means nothing - the post season is all that matters. Saunders has an impressive resume in the NBA. For the Pistons alone he set franchise records for wins during regular season play and coaching the NBA All-Star game in 2006. Saunders is a great coach that has done a lot for the Pistons. As a reward for all he's done - we fired him. Seems odd to me.

My second example is from the world of horse racing - Big Brown. Hopes were high that this horse would be the one who would take horse racing's Triple Crown for the first time in 30-some years. Bets were made and winnings were counted even before the gates opened and the bells rang. After winning the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness Stakes Big Brown came up a bit short at the Belmont. The scuttle on sports radio before and after the race were as different as night and day. The hero of the dirt track was now scorned and all but loaded on the trailer headed for the glue factory.

I'm no sports guru. I don't pretend to have the insight that Mike and Mike have. J.T. The Brick will forget more about sports than I will ever know. However sports and Hollywood seem to be where a lot of Americans get role models for things. Our children take cues from athletes and emulate them. So, my question is this - is there a link between firing coaches for doing their jobs well and how we look at the performance of people in the work place? What about our children? Have you though about firing your wife for doing a really good job of coaching your kids and being the GM of your house?
Is there a connection between berating a horse that "should have" won the Triple Crown and what we expect of our children and our spouses?

Maybe the larger question is how much is enough? What is the win-loss record on your child's report card? Is it a championship report card or is there a loss on the record? It's not all A's? Okay - is it good enough? Is your wife a trophy, is her salary at least $50,000, and does she keep the house running like June Cleaver? Is she a Triple Crown package? No? At what point is she good enough to have your love, acceptance, and appreciation?

These are things I'll be thinking about this week. Thanks for stopping by.

At The End?

I write these blog entries in hopes that it moves men in a positive direction in their relationships with their spouses. However, I had one of those "ah ha" moments yesterday as I was driving and thinking about a friend who struggles with his wife and another friend whose wife simply up and left. I'm sure there are men who read this blog at their computers and then turn away to the reality that it really doesn't matter what "he" does to make things better - she just isn't going to buy into it. The ship has sailed - The horse is out of the barn - and all those other cliches. You've done your best. You've bent over backwards to make things better. You've tried counseling - again.

If this is you - I don't want you to feel like I'm holding you accountable for things falling apart. It says at the top of this blog "In support of men who stood in front of God and everyone and said 'I do'". Please understand that I realize that she made vows and commitments too. No matter how hard you try, things aren't going to work if she doesn't honor hers.

Most of my blog entries revolve around a man who sees the need for change or improvement. Right, wrong, or otherwise, it also assumes that (with practice and consistency) his wife will welcome the change and love him for it. Maybe that's me looking through rose-colored glasses. I guess I prefer to think of it as being my focus on men and knowing that not everyone will fit into this category.

I'd like to believe that with prayer and hard work, saving a marriage is always possible. I've seen couples overcome impossible odds and have great marriages after the recovery. But I know that's not necessarily true for everyone. I've also seen couples who have very good chances for recovery that have fallen apart because one or the other just simply walks away.

It hurts me to write this because two of the marriages that have inspired this blog have ended this way. They were (and are) good people with great chances for reconciliation. Yet, my best friend still told his wife he didn't love her anymore and walked away. Another close friend of ours decided she just didn't want to be married anymore and left two children and one of the greatest husbands.

All you can do is change yourself. You cannot change the heart of someone who refuses to work on a relationship or someone who's already emotionally left the building. If you need encouragement, prayer, and/or the support of a community of men - this is the place.

Thanks for tuning in.