Off On A Rant

 Forgive me.  I'm about to go on a rant ala Dennis Miller.  

Not long ago I found out that another marriage has bought the farm.  Once again, this is a couple that I hold as a good friend.  Tonight I find myself shaking my fist angrily at God and asking "How many more of my friends need to go through this?  This just isn't right!"

In any trial there is a prosecution and a defense.  In divorce proceedings there  is a prosecution and a defense on each side.  All four elements engage in a battle, each side using their prosecution and defense resources to impugn the other into submission or retreat until a judge declares - not a victory - but a cease fire.  

I'm so upset by this that I sat my analytical self down and attempted to make an outline, methodically laying out everything I wanted to say in this blog post.  In the end it all seemed like crap.  So please bear with me as I try to communicate to you what my heart feels.  

Guys, your home is the most important thing you have.  It's not just outlets, toilet valves, and shingles.  It's your home base of operations.  It's your fallout shelter from the blasts of the world.  It's the operations and logistics center for everyone in your home.  It's the war room where you solve problems and settle differences.  It's the oasis where you find peace and rest.  There are two very basic and very important aspects of your home that you have to understand clearly in order to prevent the retaining of legal counsel to impose a cease fire to the dysfunction.  

First, you have to understand that your home has a physical realm and a spiritual realm.  In the physical realm you close and lock all your doors and windows when you leave the house and when you go to sleep at night.  Why?  Obviously, to prevent those who would do you harm and steel your valuables from doing so.  It's common sense.  The same thing is true in the spiritual realm.  You need to take care to secure your home spiritually from those who would do you harm and take your valuables.  If you leave a door or a window unlocked or open it's an invitation for satan to come in and do harm to your relationship with your wife and your kids, rob you of your patience, your understanding, your leadership - leaving you with self doubt, anger, frustration, and all kinds of other bad stuff.  A guy can continually leave a spiritual window open and suddenly wake up in a crappy one bedroom apartment with the realization that everything he had has been taken from him.  You have to secure your home on the spiritual level as-well-as the physical level!

The second, and most important, aspect is that your relationship with God is directly connected with everything in your home - physically and spiritually.  How you humble yourself before God, acknowledge the Holy Spirit inside you, and choose to live under grace - OR NOT - will have a direct and immediate impact on your home and everyone in it.  

Please take some time today to be by yourself, in a quiet place, and make an honest evaluation of where you are with these two very important aspects of your home.  If you search your heart and you decide that you're on a pretty good track, then I'm happy for you - God bless you as you continue.  If you're struggling - if you know things aren't right - and you're not at all sure of how to bale out your boat before it goes under, please let me know.  There is help for you here.

Who Provides You With Your Stuff?

I've been unemployed for nine months now.  During this time I have often asked God (sometimes out of frustration and anger) why he seems to not want me to provide for my family.  More times than I can count, I have told people "I don't want to be wealthy.  I just want to have enough to pay the bills!  Why can't God appreciate that?"  It hasn't been until the last couple of months that I've begun to understand the answer to that question.  

As men we are given this notion that we need to provide for our families.  Even in families where both husband and wife work outside the home to make ends meet, often it's the man who has the larger of the two incomes.  Without that job, the family would be hard pressed to continue in the lifestyle to which they have grown accustomed.  It's this mentality that has led to the cultural impression that a man's identity is largely wrapped around his career.  Without a job or a career, what is a man?   Take away his ability to work and you largely take away his masculinity.  Another thing that I've told a lot of people through this experience is that men are not made to be home during the day.  

Going back a few posts ago, I mentioned that my family's past is largely wrapped around farming - mostly dairy farming.  My uncle Al had a saying - "Everything we have comes from udders."  That saying made a lot of people chuckle.  The point here is that Al had it right when he implies that things (i.e. success, houses, cars, TV's, stereos, vacations, etc.) don't come from our own efforts.  I see your eyebrows quirking here.  I know that you put in a lot of overtime to buy that truck.  I know that the government took money out of your hard earned paycheck and gave it back to you (interest free) in the form of a tax return that you used to buy that 52 inch plasma TV.  It's your money, right?  You worked hard for that!

Here's what I've learned - and it might upset you.  It's not your money.  It's not your truck.  It's not your plasma TV.  It's not your stereo.  It's not your Blackberry.  It's not yours, it's not mine, it doesn't belong to the bank or the credit card company either.

Let's take a look:

Job 1:10, 11

Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land.

Job has become the biblical cliche for the man who lost everything he had.  Still, ask yourself how he got everything he had.  These verses clearly state that even satan knew that everything Job had came from God's provision.

Luke 12:21-34

22Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 

Here, Jesus tells all who follow him - "Look.  I'll take care of you.  Don't depend on your own provision - depend on mine."

I Kings 17: 2-4

Then the word of the LORD came to Elijah: 3 "Leave here, turn eastward and hide in the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan. 4 You will drink from the brook, and I have ordered the ravens to feed you there."

God provided Elijah with food and water even when He scorched the rest of the surrounding land.  

John 6: 10-13

10Jesus said, "Have the people sit down." There was plenty of grass in that place, and the men sat down, about five thousand of them. 11Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish.

 12When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, "Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted." 13So they gathered them and filled twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley loaves left over by those who had eaten.

Jesus provided food for all these people who had nothing.  What's more, he did it in a way that was obvious to his followers so they could see how His love provides.  

Guys, I've learned a hard lesson from being unemployed.  For a long time I've been leaning on my own abilities to provide for myself and my family. You can argue that the reason why I lost my job was because my focus was in the wrong direction - I'm not sure I know that for certain.  Yet, I can tell you that I have been humbled before God.  Even now, I wait on God daily for His provision for my family.  As I write this I know that I have enough to get my family through the day.  But tomorrow is still in question.

Am I content?  Contentment is difficult when you can only see the next step in front of you.  Am I where I want to be at this point when I'm in my 40's?  Not even close!  But I think the real question is am I where God wants me to be?   That is the quest that I am on.  

I encourage you to re-evaluate your attitude toward who provides you with your stuff.  In addition, if you have a lot of stuff - stuff God has provided you with - how are you using it?  If you really believe that it all belongs to God (the house, the car, the boat, the 4-wheeler) are you using it for own enjoyment or could you be using the stuff to help other people see  God in your life?

Thanks for stopping by.

Finders Keepers

On Wednesday I was out killing time at the grocery store with my kids while we waited to pick up my wife.  We had pretty much picked off the list and were wandering around looking at different things when I looked down and saw some cash on the floor.  I considered diving on it like a linebacker trying to recover a fumble.  However, keeping my composure, I picked it up and looked around.  There was only one person standing anywhere close by - a  young kid no more that twenty years old.  I asked him if it was his and he answered no.  

Thirty five bucks.  That's gas money for almost a week - nearly a full tank of gas at $1.50-something a gallon.  Hmmmm.  What to do?  As I was shoving the money in my pocket my ten year old son looked at me and said "Dad, aren't you going to turn that in?"  I'm not sure if it was guilt or a bit of frustration at being caught by my son shoving someone else's money into my pocket.   "Lets find a store worker."  I said.  

In the nearby Ladies Department there were three employees having a water cooler chat of some kind.  I approached them, told them how I found the cash on the floor, and asked them what I should do with it.  They explained the store policy of putting my name and phone number on the wad of cash and that they would keep it for thirty days.  If the money was not claimed, after thirty days it was mine.  I thanked them for their assistance and we went on our way.  

Over in the produce section I stopped the cart and had a discussion with my two kids - one ten, the other fourteen.  My daughter acknowledged that we needed the money, but also, truthfully, stated that it simply was not our money.  My son maintained that we needed to turn it in.  While listening to both of them I was growing more and more angry over the hard time I was having over a lousy thirty five bucks.  We finally made the decision to turn the money in.  We checked out with our groceries and then made our way to the customer service desk as directed by the employees in the Ladies Department.  

We were there for no more than five minutes - all the while I had to resist the urge to put the cash back in my pocket and run out the door with it.  After all - finders keepers - right?  Still, it wasn't my money.  As she took my name and number and put the cash in an envelope I knew I'd  never see that money again.  

Did I do the right thing?  Maybe.  Did I teach my children a lesson against greed and in favor of responsibility?  Maybe.  In this case, responsibility didn't make my gas gauge move in a positive direction.  

The truth of the matter is that it wasn't MY money.  In reality, none of it is.  Even MY money isn't my money.  As a man - a leader of my family - I need to keep my eye on the ball.  Everything I have comes from God.  My house, my car, my kids, my groceries, the computer I use to write this blog - it all comes from God's provision.  What' s more, if everything I have comes from God, then everything I have should be used for God.  My house, car, kids, groceries, and my computer - I should be willing to put it all up for the work of God.  If a friend needs a place to stay he can use the house God gave me.  If someone needs a ride, I can give them a lift with the car God gave me.  If an elderly person needs some help, the kids God gave me can assist them.  Poor as I am, I have been blessed with a lot of food.  If I know someone needs it - I can make them a meal with the groceries God gave me.  You get the point.  

So, if the cash belongs to God, did I do the right thing?  Leave and comment and let me know what you think.  

Take Time to Think...

It's the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and we're all scrambling around the house getting it ship-shape for the family to come for dinner tomorrow.  Before I dig in with both hands this morning I happen to be chatting on facebook with an old friend who is also unemployed and he told me that he just found another job.  He made the comment "Thanksgiving Indeed!"  I can tell he's really excited and I'm happy for him as well.  

I got to thinking that I should make some kind of post for the holiday, but nothing really jumps out at me to say.  I have always held that I want to write when I'm inspired to do so - not out of obligation or any timeline.   Still, as I consider the Thanksgiving holiday and all the memories I have of people and places something does float to the surface.  

Consider for a minute that God blesses us according to his master plan - not ours.  I got fired from a job at a software company despite my intense prayers that I would be able to continue to work there.  I've lost a girlfriend or two and groused about it for days despite my prayers to God to make THIS girl the one I spend the rest of my life with.  I've prayed hard for this, that, or the other thing to make my life complete or to help me accomplish something only to have the answer be "no" or "how about this instead".  

I can point out a lot of things that I would have liked to be thankful for if I had gotten them - but I didn't.  What's more, I could certainly be bitter and callous about not getting what I asked for.  When kids do that we call them spoiled or....worse.  I wonder if that's how God looks at me when he doesn't give me what I want, ask for, or in some cases, demand.  

Ironically, God has blessed me.  The job at the software company went away - true.  But it made me available for another job where I learned an incredible amount of knowledge about leading people.  I lost a couple of girlfriends - true.  But I'm blessed with a wife that is a wonderful woman in her own rite and teaches me many things.  So many things I've asked for from God and NOT gotten only to discover (sometimes years later) that God had something so much better in mind for me.  

So, this year, join me and Garth Brooks in being thankful for unanswered prayers - or prayers that weren't answered the way we expected or wanted them answered.  Thank God that he knows us better than we know ourselves.  

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Basic Training - Part Three: Believer's Identity

Welcome to the third post dealing with the basics of Christianity and how God created us as human beings.  This information is the basis of the Christian faith and the foundation that a Christian marriage is based on.  These are concepts that are taken directly from the Bible.  The material and diagrams are produced by the Association of Exchanged Life Ministries (www.aelm.org).

There are diagrams to the right of the post that go along with the information.  If they seem small on your monitor feel free to right click on them and download. them to your computer.  This is NOT copyrighted material.  Each post will remain here for a week with the respective diagrams.  At the beginning of a new week, a new post will appear with the new diagrams.  The previous post will of course be beneath the new post, but the diagrams for the previous week will be gone.

Again, because this is a blog specifically focused on men - men will be specifically referred to.  Yet the information here applies equally to both men and women.

Part Three - Believer's Identity

First, we need to establish and recognize that we have a different identity as a Christian living under Grace.  Your new identity is in Jesus Christ.

Romans 6:3-5 says this:

"or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ jesus were baptized into his death?  We were there fore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.  If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection."

Figure 1 shows how our old sinful dead spirit was crucified with him, spiritually we went to hell with him, and spiritually we are raised up and sit in heaven with him now.

Here are some facts about a believer's identity in Jesus Christ (Taken from Romans 5:1-11):

• We have peace in our new identity.
• We are completely acceptable to God 
• We are dead to sin and alive to God.  We can choose NOT to sin.
• We died to our old "family tree" an Adam (sinful man).  We are now alive in Christ's family tree.
• Jesus Christ is all you need for any situation. (2 Peter 1:3) You can rest and have peace in this.  

A review of Figure 2 reminds us that there is a constant struggle between our inherently human sinful desires (dark circle with the F) and the Spirit.  This struggle exists because God gave us a choice to follow him or to handle things on our own.  We have to choose to listen to the Spirit and follow God.  

Check this out:

Romans 6: 12-14

"Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires.  Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life, and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness.  For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace."

We must constantly be aware of this struggle and consciously choose not to sin.  We have the ability to do this because we have the Spirit inside us and we live by Grace - not by law.  

Living by the Spirit means that we give God access to our lives to let him work in and through us.  Giving access means having a relationship with God.  In every day life this means pursuing a relationship with him much like you pursue a relationship with your spouse.  It means have a conscious dependence on God for everything in your life.  It means communicating with God through prayer and Bible reading.  Figure 3 shows the Selfer's Prayer.  This puts it all in perspective and gives you a good idea of where Spirit life under Grace starts.  

While sin keeps us distant from God through guilt and fear, Grace creates intimacy with God.  This intimacy is what he really wants from us more than anything.  

I am personally convinced that this submission, this dying to self, this crucifying of pride (see Philippians 2:1-8) is crucial to our joy.  We think of denying self as somber, grim-faced business when it is in truth a prelude to dancing.  if you want power, learn to e assertive.  If you want joy, learn to be submissive.  

The reason our death (to self) increased the joy level all around is that it also increases the love level all around.  Only when we die to self  can we fully love one another.  Self is a devilish creature, demanding all our energy. wanting our constant attention, reaching even into our pocketbooks for favors.  how can we be attuned to another's spirit when self is making so much noise?  How can we ever hope to love another when self screams for our constant care?  When self is alive and well, if offers us an all-or-nothing proposition.  We either pacify self, or we crucify it.

- Judson Edwards

Basic Training - Part Two: Law and Grace

Welcome to the second post dealing with the basics of Christianity and how God created us as human beings.  This information is the basis of the Christian faith and the foundation that a Christian marriage is based on.  These are concepts that are taken directly from the Bible.  The material and diagrams are produced by the Association of Exchanged Life Ministries (www.aelm.org).

There are diagrams to the right of the post that go along with the information.  If they seem small on your monitor feel free to right click on them and download them to your computer.  This is NOT copyrighted material.  Each post will remain here for a week with the respective diagrams.  At the beginning of a new week, a new post will appear with new diagrams.  The previous post will of course be beneath the new post, but the diagrams for the previous post will be gone.  

Again, because this is a blog specifically focused on men - men will be specifically referred to.  Yet the information here applies equally to both men and women.  

Part Two - Grace and Law.

Okay.  So now you're sitting in your big comfy chair.  It's Sunday afternoon.  You're watching the big game on the big screen with a cold drink, a ham sandwich, and your gift of Grace.

Now what?  I don't have to worry about sinning anymore?  What does that mean?  I don't have to be ashamed of having too many beers on Saturday at the game?  I can vent my road rage and not worry about it?  Am I free to pursue my golf game regardless of how much time it takes and how much my wife complains about it?  Can I do anything I want?

Technically, yes.  You have salvation in Jesus Christ and you have the Holy Spirit inside you.  You can't lose your salvation.  Still, God didn't choose to have his only son sacrifice himself on the cross so you can get drunk, curse other motorists, and neglect your family.  

Let's look at some basics.

LAW is defined as the system of performance (or behavior) which God set up to bless those who fulfill its requirements and to curse those who do not.  It's based on the 10 commandments. 

Dueteronomy 28:1 says If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow al his command I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth.

This is an achievement based system.  All non-Christians operate under this set of standards (Actually, some Christians still operate under this set of standards when, in reality, they don't have to).  This is the system of thou shalts and thou shalt nots.  If you can do everything right, you gain acceptance - maybe even eternal life.  

Here's the problem - you can't.  There's no way you can reach perfection on your own.  To grab a phrase from my childhood - you're dead meat.  As a result we tend to get on this treadmill of the law shown in Figure 1.  We try, fail, confess our sins, receive forgiveness, and try again.  This will make you crazy!  You see, the system based on the law makes you religious, but it keeps the Holy Spirit inside you pressed down and makes you ineffective as a Christian.  

This is how the Jews in the New Testament were messed up.  Everything was done in order to show others how closely they followed the law.  They were deeply religious people but they had no relationship with Jesus Christ.  In fact, they murdered him.  They were self-righteous - that is trying to be righteous by their own power.  

It was this deeply chilling and self-righteous religion that caused God to send his Son to die for us.  Let's apply that to you and me.  If we try to gain acceptance based on our performance measured against the law of right and wrong a number of character traits are going to float to the top.   

• We won't be able to handle rejection or criticism
• We won't be free to fail and to learn from our mistakes.
• We'll be defensive and poor listeners.
• We'll be prideful - happy when someone else fails because it lifts up our standing.
• At the same time we'll have low self-esteem because we know the reality of our failures.
• We'll never be at peace with  ourselves.
• We'll constantly find fault with others and be very judgmental.
• We'll be very afraid of God.  Our relationship with him will be out of fear of punishment for the wrong we've done. God will be distant and cold because we avoid him out of fear. 

This is so NOT what God wants for us.  God loves us and wants a close personal relationship with each of us.  To accomplish that, he did something radical and new.  

Consider this:

Hebrews 7:18, 19  The former regulation is set aside because it was weak and useless (for the law made nothing perfect), and a better hope is introduced, by which we draw near to God.

Hebrews 8:13  By calling this covenant "new" He has made the first one obsolete., and what is obsolete and aging will soon disappear.  

Galatians 3:21  Is the law therefore opposed to the promises of God?  Absolutely not!  For if a law had been given that could impart life, then righteousness would certainly have come by the law.

When you read that last verse from Galatians you see that simply knowing the difference between right and wrong and banging your head on the wall to do good things doesn't make you alive in the Spirit (Review the diagram in Figure 2).  

GRACE is defined as the system of faith (trust, dependence) which God set up to Bless those who are in Christ only because they are in Christ.  

Grace is given as a gift - just because you believe - nothing more.  It's not based on your performance against the law of right and wrong.  It's receiving - not achieving.  Any Christian who accepts Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior (born again) can receive this gift.  

I know you're thinking "Whoa man!  There's got to be more to it than that."   Well, yes, there is.  Jesus Christ came to earth, was put to death by the Jews, and was brought back to life again by God.  When this happened, Jesus Christ made everything you do right for God.  He justified you in the eyes of God.  As a Christian are you going to live from this point forward never sinning again?  No.  It's impossible for you to live a sin-less life.  But through the lens of Grace through Jesus Christ, you are perfect to God.  

Look at this:

Matthew 5:17  Do you think that I have come to abolish the law or the Prophets:  I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.  

II Corinthians 5:21  God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.  

God had Jesus Christ, his son, die for us so that we could be perfect for God.  This is so amazing that someone wrote a song about it!  

This is the basics of God's Grace through Jesus Christ.  This is what it means to be saved.  The logical next step for this is how do live this in an every day kind of way.   How do I identify myself with Grace?  I hate to leave you hanging, but that is what's on tap for next week.  

Stay tuned!

Spirit Realm - Is It Really There?

I make no bones about the fact that this blog is for Christians.  With that reminder to the readers, I speak from experience (recent and painful experience) about the battles that go on in my life between the good and evil.  I take this very seriously - more seriously than I used to.  This is not a symbolic or metaphoric game of tug of war.  I believe that battles in the spirit realm are real, the stakes are high, and the struggle is ugly. 

The first thing you need to have a grasp on is that we Christians were created by God to have a free will.  I am free to make my own choices.  At times the choices I make serve to develop my relationship with God to deeper levels of love and understanding.  At other time, my choices are in the opposite direction and I move away from God.  God created us all with the ability to choose.  He wants us to come to him of our free will and not because he programmed us to follow him.

No one has a greater understanding of free will than satan.  After all, he was the first to exercise it.  He left the presence of God.  What's more, he exploits that understanding of our free will and puts his demons to work on us.  Doubt, depression, poor self image, apathy, and fear are all tools in satan's tool box.  He uses them all (sometimes all at once) to keep us from making decisions that will develop a better, closer walk with our God.

If satan can use the tools at his disposal to keep me from being an effective follower of God and keep me from being an example of human decency and morality to the world, his work is going well.  That's what the last week has been for me.  I've been lazy, beaten down, discouraged, irritable, and a pain in the butt to live with.  There are good reasons for all these things.  The devil has given me all sorts of very plausible reasons to justify my behavior.  After all, who wouldn't act this way given the circumstances, right?  

Choices.  Pure and simple.  I have made the decision to be lazy.  I have made the decision to quit when I've been discouraged instead of seeking help and encouragement from my support network.  I have heard the voices on my shoulder saying "If you call again, people are going to start thinking you're a head case and they won't want to talk to you anymore".   And naturally, all of these things snowball into a bad attitude toward my wife, my kids, and life in general.  I have come to resent anyone who has a job and has their bills paid.  

I also believe that being aware is half the battle.  If I understand what's happening in the spirit realm I am empowered and I can be a better warrior.  If I know that my attitude is bad because there's a battle going on, I can make a greater effort to read my Bible and to spend more time in prayer.  I know that I have to stay in contact with the friends and family in my support network so they can encourage and strengthen me.  

One final note.  If you're a Christian, any changes you make in your life to move closer to God or to do God's work in your life WILL be met with resistance in the spirit realm.  If you're not a Christian, any movement you make toward God WILL be met with resistance.  Satan will put any and all of his resources to use to keep you ineffective and apathetic.  He's happy as long as you don't make any bold moves toward God.  

Be aware.  Be strong.  If you need help, there's help here.  We can't help you if we don't know you're there.  

Thanks for taking the time.