Basic Training - Part Three: Believer's Identity

Welcome to the third post dealing with the basics of Christianity and how God created us as human beings.  This information is the basis of the Christian faith and the foundation that a Christian marriage is based on.  These are concepts that are taken directly from the Bible.  The material and diagrams are produced by the Association of Exchanged Life Ministries (www.aelm.org).

There are diagrams to the right of the post that go along with the information.  If they seem small on your monitor feel free to right click on them and download. them to your computer.  This is NOT copyrighted material.  Each post will remain here for a week with the respective diagrams.  At the beginning of a new week, a new post will appear with the new diagrams.  The previous post will of course be beneath the new post, but the diagrams for the previous week will be gone.

Again, because this is a blog specifically focused on men - men will be specifically referred to.  Yet the information here applies equally to both men and women.

Part Three - Believer's Identity

First, we need to establish and recognize that we have a different identity as a Christian living under Grace.  Your new identity is in Jesus Christ.

Romans 6:3-5 says this:

"or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ jesus were baptized into his death?  We were there fore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.  If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection."

Figure 1 shows how our old sinful dead spirit was crucified with him, spiritually we went to hell with him, and spiritually we are raised up and sit in heaven with him now.

Here are some facts about a believer's identity in Jesus Christ (Taken from Romans 5:1-11):

• We have peace in our new identity.
• We are completely acceptable to God 
• We are dead to sin and alive to God.  We can choose NOT to sin.
• We died to our old "family tree" an Adam (sinful man).  We are now alive in Christ's family tree.
• Jesus Christ is all you need for any situation. (2 Peter 1:3) You can rest and have peace in this.  

A review of Figure 2 reminds us that there is a constant struggle between our inherently human sinful desires (dark circle with the F) and the Spirit.  This struggle exists because God gave us a choice to follow him or to handle things on our own.  We have to choose to listen to the Spirit and follow God.  

Check this out:

Romans 6: 12-14

"Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires.  Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life, and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness.  For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace."

We must constantly be aware of this struggle and consciously choose not to sin.  We have the ability to do this because we have the Spirit inside us and we live by Grace - not by law.  

Living by the Spirit means that we give God access to our lives to let him work in and through us.  Giving access means having a relationship with God.  In every day life this means pursuing a relationship with him much like you pursue a relationship with your spouse.  It means have a conscious dependence on God for everything in your life.  It means communicating with God through prayer and Bible reading.  Figure 3 shows the Selfer's Prayer.  This puts it all in perspective and gives you a good idea of where Spirit life under Grace starts.  

While sin keeps us distant from God through guilt and fear, Grace creates intimacy with God.  This intimacy is what he really wants from us more than anything.  

I am personally convinced that this submission, this dying to self, this crucifying of pride (see Philippians 2:1-8) is crucial to our joy.  We think of denying self as somber, grim-faced business when it is in truth a prelude to dancing.  if you want power, learn to e assertive.  If you want joy, learn to be submissive.  

The reason our death (to self) increased the joy level all around is that it also increases the love level all around.  Only when we die to self  can we fully love one another.  Self is a devilish creature, demanding all our energy. wanting our constant attention, reaching even into our pocketbooks for favors.  how can we be attuned to another's spirit when self is making so much noise?  How can we ever hope to love another when self screams for our constant care?  When self is alive and well, if offers us an all-or-nothing proposition.  We either pacify self, or we crucify it.

- Judson Edwards

Basic Training - Part Two: Law and Grace

Welcome to the second post dealing with the basics of Christianity and how God created us as human beings.  This information is the basis of the Christian faith and the foundation that a Christian marriage is based on.  These are concepts that are taken directly from the Bible.  The material and diagrams are produced by the Association of Exchanged Life Ministries (www.aelm.org).

There are diagrams to the right of the post that go along with the information.  If they seem small on your monitor feel free to right click on them and download them to your computer.  This is NOT copyrighted material.  Each post will remain here for a week with the respective diagrams.  At the beginning of a new week, a new post will appear with new diagrams.  The previous post will of course be beneath the new post, but the diagrams for the previous post will be gone.  

Again, because this is a blog specifically focused on men - men will be specifically referred to.  Yet the information here applies equally to both men and women.  

Part Two - Grace and Law.

Okay.  So now you're sitting in your big comfy chair.  It's Sunday afternoon.  You're watching the big game on the big screen with a cold drink, a ham sandwich, and your gift of Grace.

Now what?  I don't have to worry about sinning anymore?  What does that mean?  I don't have to be ashamed of having too many beers on Saturday at the game?  I can vent my road rage and not worry about it?  Am I free to pursue my golf game regardless of how much time it takes and how much my wife complains about it?  Can I do anything I want?

Technically, yes.  You have salvation in Jesus Christ and you have the Holy Spirit inside you.  You can't lose your salvation.  Still, God didn't choose to have his only son sacrifice himself on the cross so you can get drunk, curse other motorists, and neglect your family.  

Let's look at some basics.

LAW is defined as the system of performance (or behavior) which God set up to bless those who fulfill its requirements and to curse those who do not.  It's based on the 10 commandments. 

Dueteronomy 28:1 says If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow al his command I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth.

This is an achievement based system.  All non-Christians operate under this set of standards (Actually, some Christians still operate under this set of standards when, in reality, they don't have to).  This is the system of thou shalts and thou shalt nots.  If you can do everything right, you gain acceptance - maybe even eternal life.  

Here's the problem - you can't.  There's no way you can reach perfection on your own.  To grab a phrase from my childhood - you're dead meat.  As a result we tend to get on this treadmill of the law shown in Figure 1.  We try, fail, confess our sins, receive forgiveness, and try again.  This will make you crazy!  You see, the system based on the law makes you religious, but it keeps the Holy Spirit inside you pressed down and makes you ineffective as a Christian.  

This is how the Jews in the New Testament were messed up.  Everything was done in order to show others how closely they followed the law.  They were deeply religious people but they had no relationship with Jesus Christ.  In fact, they murdered him.  They were self-righteous - that is trying to be righteous by their own power.  

It was this deeply chilling and self-righteous religion that caused God to send his Son to die for us.  Let's apply that to you and me.  If we try to gain acceptance based on our performance measured against the law of right and wrong a number of character traits are going to float to the top.   

• We won't be able to handle rejection or criticism
• We won't be free to fail and to learn from our mistakes.
• We'll be defensive and poor listeners.
• We'll be prideful - happy when someone else fails because it lifts up our standing.
• At the same time we'll have low self-esteem because we know the reality of our failures.
• We'll never be at peace with  ourselves.
• We'll constantly find fault with others and be very judgmental.
• We'll be very afraid of God.  Our relationship with him will be out of fear of punishment for the wrong we've done. God will be distant and cold because we avoid him out of fear. 

This is so NOT what God wants for us.  God loves us and wants a close personal relationship with each of us.  To accomplish that, he did something radical and new.  

Consider this:

Hebrews 7:18, 19  The former regulation is set aside because it was weak and useless (for the law made nothing perfect), and a better hope is introduced, by which we draw near to God.

Hebrews 8:13  By calling this covenant "new" He has made the first one obsolete., and what is obsolete and aging will soon disappear.  

Galatians 3:21  Is the law therefore opposed to the promises of God?  Absolutely not!  For if a law had been given that could impart life, then righteousness would certainly have come by the law.

When you read that last verse from Galatians you see that simply knowing the difference between right and wrong and banging your head on the wall to do good things doesn't make you alive in the Spirit (Review the diagram in Figure 2).  

GRACE is defined as the system of faith (trust, dependence) which God set up to Bless those who are in Christ only because they are in Christ.  

Grace is given as a gift - just because you believe - nothing more.  It's not based on your performance against the law of right and wrong.  It's receiving - not achieving.  Any Christian who accepts Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior (born again) can receive this gift.  

I know you're thinking "Whoa man!  There's got to be more to it than that."   Well, yes, there is.  Jesus Christ came to earth, was put to death by the Jews, and was brought back to life again by God.  When this happened, Jesus Christ made everything you do right for God.  He justified you in the eyes of God.  As a Christian are you going to live from this point forward never sinning again?  No.  It's impossible for you to live a sin-less life.  But through the lens of Grace through Jesus Christ, you are perfect to God.  

Look at this:

Matthew 5:17  Do you think that I have come to abolish the law or the Prophets:  I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.  

II Corinthians 5:21  God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.  

God had Jesus Christ, his son, die for us so that we could be perfect for God.  This is so amazing that someone wrote a song about it!  

This is the basics of God's Grace through Jesus Christ.  This is what it means to be saved.  The logical next step for this is how do live this in an every day kind of way.   How do I identify myself with Grace?  I hate to leave you hanging, but that is what's on tap for next week.  

Stay tuned!

Basic Training Notice

Starting Monday, October 20, my wife and I are going to post a collaborative series of messages that address the basics of being a married Christian.  While this blog is specifically addressed to men, the content of these posts apply to both men and women. 

There will be 4 posts dealing with what happens when you become a Christian, the power of the Holy Spirit inside us, the gift of Grace and how it gives us freedom from sin, and how we live having won the battle over sin.  I'll put up a new post each monday starting Oct 20 with the last post on Nov 10.  This series is intended to be a check-up, putting us all on the same page as I go forward with the mission of supporting Christian married men.  

If you receive 4BetterOr4Worse posts through an RSS feed you'll want to actually go to the site and bookmark it.   The RSS feed will not bring over the visual aids that go along with this series that will really help you understand how to apply this information.  

I want to thank my wife Jann for helping me put these things together.   She has received formal training on all of the information covered and she's helping me condense a huge amount of information into 4 posts. 

See you next week!

The Measure of a Man

I'm working on a project in Chicago this week.  I was talking to a writer for the Chicago Tribune this afternoon about our opinions on how popular culture portrays men in sitcoms and adult animated TV like The Simpson's and Family Guy.  As we were talking I was reminded of a radio ad for a local brokerage firm.  This firm always uses some very creative anecdotes to relate real life events to financial investments.  One thing that stands out in my memory is a quote that is stated in a particular radio ad - "The measure of a man is not how he conducts himself when times are good - but how he conducts himself in adversity".  I submit to you that Homer Simpson or Peter from Family Guy are not stalwart role models of how to measure a man.  

On the other hand - who is?  As men who are in the trenches, fighting the everyday battles of marriages and parenthood, who are the generals that we look to for direction?  I know a few.  You can look back in the blog and see descriptions of one or two.  Yet, for you, maybe there aren't any.  Maybe the man you once looked to as a role model has let you down.  Or, in my case, one of my role models passed away.  If you feel like you're in this by yourself and there isn't anyone to help you find your way through the trees, I encourage you join our Yahoo Group.  There's a button on the right that will take you there.  There are some good men plugged in that can give you some solid advice for the difficulties you face.  And if you're one of those guys with a few decades of time in your marriage, I'd like to invite you to join as well.  

It's important that we help each other.  No man can go it alone and succeed in relationships - whether in marriage or in parenting.  A husband or father floundering in adversity is in a dangerous place.  There is strength and support in the collective nature of a group of Christian men.  We can't take the adversity away, but we can help a man steer between the land mines and get to the other side on solid ground.  

Thanks for stopping by.

My Elevator Story

A few years ago I saw a number of marriages and relationships of people very close to me end in divorce. This bothered me a lot and I felt the need to take some kind of action. First and foremost, I talked to my close married friends and checked in with them to make sure their marriages were okay. But I felt I needed to do more. I felt I had something to say. A friend of mine suggested that I write a book. At first I resisted. I thought that any book I could write would be lost in the noise of all the other relationship books and self-help books. But as I became increasingly frustrated with having something to say and not having anyone to say it to, I began to write.

Now I am committed to actually finishing what I started rather than a half hearted attempt at using this writing as nothing more than personal therapy. The book is about what a real man looks like in the context of Christianity, marriage, and fatherhood. It pulls no punches. It confronts issues of being a husband and father head on. No topic is taboo or spared. It holds men accountable for their responsibilities and calls out women to respect men who make a committed effort to live up to those responsibilities. This book is rooted in the Bible and the example of Jesus Christ.

A book is a static work. However, this blog is intended to be a dynamic environment where married people (men in particular) can come and dialog, vent, and otherwise communicate themselves in order to have a voice. No doubt it will be a big tool in writing my book. Yet, I hope that it is more than that.

Thanks for tuning in.