Men and Purity! Wait - What?

I recently had a chat with a very good friend about the divorce he's going through.  It's getting ugly and he's concerned about a number of things, most important are his children.  I've recently re-established connection with him after losing touch for a few years.  Our discussion went back and forth and the threads of our dialog were woven in and out of the divorce, catching up on things, and reminiscing about old times.   

In this time of great uncertainty in his life, it seems he's found some ground to make a stand on some principles.  I was pleased to see that he's making a great effort to give the whole thing up to God.  I say great effort because I know that's a very difficult thing to do.  He and I are wired a lot the same way and it's instinctive with guys like us to take the ol' bull by the horns and go after it with our own strength, our own plan, and our own will.  Being able to admit that we can't handle this and looking to God for ALL the answers is a tough thing to do.  I admire him for making the fight to keep God at the center of all the crap he has going on.  

Another thing really stood out to me in our time together.   At a time where it would be very easy for a man to grasp at just about anything to replace the intimacy he once had in his life, he's committed himself to purity.  Purity?  Isn't that for girls?  Purity is such a feminine word.  When I think of purity I think of a virginal expression, pale soft skin, and a white dress.  The truth is that I - and I suspect a lot of others - don't include men when they think or speak of purity.  It used to be that men were associated with rough and rugged attitudes - the Marlboro Man, Jack Palance, John Wayne, and Sylvester Stalone.  Purity was MaryAnn on Gilligan's Island, and Cindy Brady.  In today's popular culture with men getting manicures and facials I'm not sure what attitudes are conjured up when thinking of men.   Still, purity is probably not one of them.   

The truth is that my old friend is exactly right.  If the old boy chooses to marry again some day (which I'm sure he will), what better gift to give his new spouse than a man who's kept his mind and his body free from the garbage and baggage that comes from casual sex and a habit of pornography?  

What's more, I took a lesson from this as a married man in a mostly stable relationship.   Purity applies just as much to the married man as the single man.  Keeping my own thoughts, attitudes, and actions directed solely and specifically toward my wife is marital purity.  The pretty face smiling at me in the other traffic lane isn't mine - she doesn't belong to me.  Entertaining even the smallest thought about her is out of bounds.  The one that belongs to me is at home helping with homework, at work helping to pay the bills, or out on the road getting little people where they need to go.  My wife is the one God gave to me - that one is mine to smile at, wink at, lust after, and have desire for.  

Remember - you promised.   "In sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer - 4BetterOr4Worse.

Thanks for taking the time.