Armchair Husband - Revisited

I was humbled yesterday - in a rather large way.  It got me thinking about the last post and how, at times, I get a little carried away without considering that things I write about are easier talked about than actually carried out.  So, let me tell you what happened to me yesterday - 

Anyone who knows me knows that I carry around a few extra pounds.   Most of the extra weight is right out in front of me and it gets in the way.   So, over the holidays I made a commitment to do something about it - throw some passes, as it were.  I dug out my wife's TaeBo video tapes and me and Billy Blanks went at it for a while.  If my workout yesterday were compared to just one pass play on a football field the pass didn't make it half way to the closest receiver - who was standing ten yards away and he was wide open.

I watched the Introduction to TaeBo video tape while I sat on the sofa and thought to myself, "I did rougher stuff than that in high school.  This will be cake!"   I rewound the tape and started over again, this time standing in the middle of the floor with my dukes up just like ol'  Billy and proceeded to remind me that high school was 20-some years ago.

How does this apply to being an armchair husband?  Like my last post, I got all fired up, made the commitment to change, and actually made a move to change.  Yet, once I made that move to change I suddenly realized that making this change is not going to be easy.    What's more, that was just one workout. Change doesn't happen as the result of one instance of motivation turned to action.   

Change comes with consistency over time.  With the TaeBo work out, I've done one in a row -  nothing has changed.  What's more - I really have no desire to do that again.  It's uncomfortable, it hurts, and it's generally unpleasant.  But if I don't nothing will change.  

How many of us men know what that's like?  How many of us are caught between settling for an undesirable situation and knowing that to change it is going to be uncomfortable, time consuming, and it will likely be emotionally draining.  Most times, settling for the undesirable is the choice we opt for because it's the path of least resistance.  

My friends, I really don't want you to settle.  I want your marriage to be as awesome as it can be.  I want you to be really happy with your wife and family.  The reality for most of us is that to move from where we are now to really happy is going to take some effort and we'll have endure some discomfort.  I believe it will be so much worth the effort and discomfort in the end!

I'm here to encourage you, to bounce ideas around with, and to listen to your frustrations.  What's more, if you are really struggling with something and need some help you can click on the button to the right and sign up for the 4BetterOr4Worse men's group on yahoo.  There are some very solid men there who can help you work through some stuff.  

A note to wives - I normally don't write to the ladies but I know a lot of you read here.  When you see your husband making an effort to change and make things better - please be encouraging - even if encouragement means not saying nothing.  Try to get behind your man and help him with the issue of consistency over time.  Don't do or say anything that will make him believe that settling for what he has now is the better option.  

Thanks for stopping by.  I'm off to do my Tae Bo Workout.

Waiting on God

I don't wait well.  I want what I want - and I want it right now.  After all, I have a plan and it's a good one.  In fact, I think it's best.  

I'm waiting on God right now.  I'm waiting for an answer on a job interview.  Well, in the bigger picture - I'm waiting for a job.  Not just any job, I suppose.   I'm waiting for the opportunity that God makes for me.  And - I'm going absolutely insane - waiting.  

My painter friend Donnie and I were having  beer the other night and kvetching over our lack of income and our frustrations with all things that have to do with money - including God.   He pointed out to me that in Proverbs 3:5 it says "Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding".  

Now, I don't know what you're waiting on.  You could be waiting on the right woman to come along so you can get married, or you're waiting for the pregnancy test to say you're going to be a daddy.  You could be waiting for this tormenting legal battle to finally end, or for some medical problem to run it's course and finally be in the rear view mirror.  Maybe you're in my boat and you're just waiting for a job.

Whatever the case may be and no matter how frustrating it is to sit and look at the clock and wait for God to make his move - we have to remember that He holds the entire universe in his hands.   He set the stars in the night sky and makes the sun come up every day and go down every night.  What's more, He knows your thoughts and the desires of your heart.  He's got it covered.

I may be watching the clock, waiting for the phone to ring - and the call may never come.  I know that.  But it's really difficult to trust God to take care of me when I don't have a job, I have $2 in my pocket, the kids are asking what's for dinner, and the utility bills are all overdue. 

I don't get it.   I don't understand.  But it's not my understanding that counts - as much as I'd like to think it is.  Trust - and don't count on what you know.  God has the master plan.  

One more parting thought from the pastor of my church.   God is at his best when I am at my worst.  If you need some company while you wait - leave a comment.  We can keep you company and - just maybe - help you with a little different perspective.  

Thanks for stopping by.