7Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
These verses are not about stuffing women into insignificance while promoting men above them. In fact, in verse 7 Peter says just the opposite. In terms of salvation and eternal life, women are equals.- Oppressive - "I will decide for my wife!"
- Dictatorial - "You will do as I say!"
- Egotistical - "I know what's best!"
24Also a dispute arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest. 25Jesus said to them, "The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. 26But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. 27For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.
If we overlay the statements of Jesus according to Luke over top of what Peter says in I Peter 3:7 we get a clear picture of how men achieve significance in our marriages. Significance (i.e. effective leadership) is achieved through an attitude - service.
Male leadership, as God intended it, IS: supportive, considerate, loving, collaborative, wise, respectful, humble, transparent, teaching by example, and dependent on the Holy Spirit. Honestly, what wife wouldn't want this in a husband?
Here are two examples:
First, check out a book called the 5 Love Languages by Dr Gary Chapman. If you don't have it, buy a copy. In the book Dr Chapman refers to 5 basic behaviors that husbands and wives both relate to. Everyone can relate to words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Dr. Chapman challenges husbands and wives to learn not only what your love language is - but more importantly, the love language of your spouse. Then, speak to her in that language.
The second example goes back to a chat I had with Michigan State Senator, Bill Hardiman. Mr Hardiman talked to me about sowing seeds. He recounted to me a time in his marriage when his wife was angry with him all the time and they were miserable together. Faced with divorcing a second time, he decided to make some changes. He called it "sowing good seeds". He encouraged me by saying that all seed takes time to grow - even the bad seeds. If you've been sowing bad seed it's still going to grow and you have to deal with the responsibility of what you've sown. Yet, he was very specific in saying that the same is true of sowing good seed. It takes time to grow. You don't plant a kernel of corn today and get a full ear tomorrow. Still, the more you sow the better off you'll be in the future. Mr Hardiman's consistent effort to sow good seed over time proved to be the thing that turned his marriage around. Over time, the bad stuff ran it's course and died out. In it's place, the good seeds grew and the good things in his relationship with his wife grew.
Both Dr. Chapman and Senator Hardiman show us how an attitude of service can help us answer God's call to leadership and significance in our marriages and in our homes.
In I John 13:17, the Apostle John says, "Now that you know these things, blessed are you if you do them."
Thanks for stopping by.
1 comment:
Great reflection. To be honest - you and I are on the same wave length with this one - believe it or not.
The I Peter is meant to tell us to work together and respect one another rather than having power one over the other.
I think I've told you this before but in pre-marital counseling, I use the image of 2 oxen - being yoked together - Going with your "farming theme"-- When 2 oxen are yoked - they must pull equally to make the plow go forward in a straight line. If one pulls more and they other less - then the field is crooked or does not get plowed at all. I can't say as I've personally plowed a field with ox but - the yoked language is Scriptural.
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