At The End?

I write these blog entries in hopes that it moves men in a positive direction in their relationships with their spouses. However, I had one of those "ah ha" moments yesterday as I was driving and thinking about a friend who struggles with his wife and another friend whose wife simply up and left. I'm sure there are men who read this blog at their computers and then turn away to the reality that it really doesn't matter what "he" does to make things better - she just isn't going to buy into it. The ship has sailed - The horse is out of the barn - and all those other cliches. You've done your best. You've bent over backwards to make things better. You've tried counseling - again.

If this is you - I don't want you to feel like I'm holding you accountable for things falling apart. It says at the top of this blog "In support of men who stood in front of God and everyone and said 'I do'". Please understand that I realize that she made vows and commitments too. No matter how hard you try, things aren't going to work if she doesn't honor hers.

Most of my blog entries revolve around a man who sees the need for change or improvement. Right, wrong, or otherwise, it also assumes that (with practice and consistency) his wife will welcome the change and love him for it. Maybe that's me looking through rose-colored glasses. I guess I prefer to think of it as being my focus on men and knowing that not everyone will fit into this category.

I'd like to believe that with prayer and hard work, saving a marriage is always possible. I've seen couples overcome impossible odds and have great marriages after the recovery. But I know that's not necessarily true for everyone. I've also seen couples who have very good chances for recovery that have fallen apart because one or the other just simply walks away.

It hurts me to write this because two of the marriages that have inspired this blog have ended this way. They were (and are) good people with great chances for reconciliation. Yet, my best friend still told his wife he didn't love her anymore and walked away. Another close friend of ours decided she just didn't want to be married anymore and left two children and one of the greatest husbands.

All you can do is change yourself. You cannot change the heart of someone who refuses to work on a relationship or someone who's already emotionally left the building. If you need encouragement, prayer, and/or the support of a community of men - this is the place.

Thanks for tuning in.