Bert: Let’s talk a little bit about pornography. That seems to be a very damaging thing for men and marriages. Pornography is a huge industry in the United States and abroad. In the economics of supply and demand, I feel that the way we have the most effective impact on pornography is to try to work with men and eliminate the demand for it as opposed to regulate the supply of it. Would you agree with that?
Mr. Hardiman: Yes, I do. There is freedom of speech, so these materials are available. Sometimes even boys get into it and can’t handle it. Actually, men can’t handle it either but they think they can. Some people say that “Well, this just helps me get ready to be with my wife”. That’s a horrible thing to say - that you have to have that to get ready to do your husbandly duty – something that God calls you to do. Pornography is insidious. I think it starts out in ways that one might think are not that bad. But it’s addictive.
When I was mayor of Kentwood we closed down a few massage parlors that were selling more than massages. I got a call one day in my office. The gentleman asked why we closed down some massage parlors and not others. I answered that it was because we didn’t have the information – the “goods” on them. He said, “Well, it’s been a while – maybe a year. But I’ve been through every woman in the place”. As we continued to talk I said, “Well, if I can get you in touch with our chief of police we’d be happy to get that information in order to do what we can because it’s illegal. As he talked he said “Well, six months ago…” and as we continued he said “A couple of weeks ago…” Pretty soon I knew that this guy was addicted and he was crying out for help because he couldn’t stop.
Now, obviously that’s sexual activity. Pornography is the same kind of thing. It’s lust. It’s the kind of thing that’s like fire. It’s never put out. Once you get into that even normal behaviors are involved – so someone is trying to get into something abnormal just because that fire is still burning and will burn everything in sight. I think the best thing to do is not get involved. The Bible speaks about not putting any vile thing before one’s eyes. I try not to do that. There are certain movies I won’t watch. There are certain things on TV I will turn off because I don’t want that damaging my spirit and effecting my mind so that I can’t do what I need to do. Lust is the kind of thing that one has to work at it, clear it out, and defeat it. I’ve had to deal with that in my own life – not pornography specifically – but lust. I think many men have. I think it needs a partnership too. That’s another place where accountability partners are good – where you can share your weaknesses with another man. I’ve said that, in some situations where I have a weakness, you’re my brother and I trust you. I know you care about me. You have a right to ask me anytime how I’m doing in this area. That brings about accountability. Most folks who really want to do pornography or some other sin don’t want to talk about it because they don’t want someone else being in their stuff as it were. I think that putting a light on it is very important. I think stemming the demand is very important. Now, someone who is trapped there is going to need help. Sometimes it takes counseling, certainly prayer, and accountability to break a very harmful habit like pornography. But I think it’s necessary and we ought to be about working on that.
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