Philippians 4:13 "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
This piece of the Bible from the Apostle Paul is simple yet heavy with truth. Equally heavy with truth is the fact that without him who gives you strength, you're a loser every time.
When it comes to the practice (and I do mean practice) of taking your marriage from a point where it's simply okay to the point where either you or your wife can brag about your spouse to your friends, you simply cannot do it without God in your life. If you try - you will fail.
Okay - now that I've completely disillusioned you, let me give you the good news. I've posted a graphic at the top right of the blog page that shows how God created humans in his own image and in three parts - spirit, soul, and body. If you're reading this in an RSS feed click over to www.4BetterOr4Worse.blogspot.com to see the graphic. To review quickly, when we became a Christian we exchanged our blackened, dead spirit for the Spirit of God. This is a gift from God simply called grace and it means that the full strength of God (see Phil 4:13 above) resides in us.
You know this, right? So what? Remember when I said that improvement in your relationship comes with consistency over time? It's this consistent practice where most men get derailed. It's like a new years resolution to lose that extra 20 pounds that never makes it past the first of February. This is what happens if you don't tap in to the Spirit. That thing that you and your spouse agreed to change for the better or your relationship becomes mundane, time consuming, the benefits aren't coming as quickly as our immediate gratification culture would like, and you just don't wanna anymore.
Bill and Annabel Gillham run a ministry called Lifetime Guarantee (www.lifetime.org). The two have written books and have become an integral part of the Association of Exchanged Life Ministries. In Bill's book Lifetime Guarantee, Bill uses the analogy of mowing the lawn. He doesn't want to mow the lawn. He'd much rather be doing something else. What he describes is the recognition of the Holy Spirit in his life and how he allows the Spirit to take over and strengthen him (see Phil 4:13 above) to stay on track. He says that God mows the lawn and Bill becomes the method God uses to get it done.
Let's go back to my Tae Bo workouts with Billy Blanks. I've got some weight to lose. I know that if I consistently stick with the program the chances are good that not only will I lose the weight but I'll also get some secondary benefits from it - like being more physically pleasing to the eye of my wife.
If I go it alone and do this my own way - I'm all done with Tae Bo and I'm going to the bar for a beer and a football game. I really don't want to work out because it's uncomfortable, time consuming, I'm not going to be skinny tomorrow, and I'm just not interested in doing that anymore.
However, if I get out of the way and let the Holy Spirit strengthen me (see Phil 4:13 above), the Spirit will empower me to get down in the basement, the Spirit will lead me through the workout today and every day. If I keep my sights set on putting myself aside and letting the Spirit live and work through me I'll have the strength (see Phil 4:13 above) to be consistent over time, get in better shape, lose the extra pounds, and see my wife give me the come hither look more often.
Guys - this is the path to success. Whether it's your marriage, your master's degree, or cleaning the garage - you certainly can do anything through him who gives you strength. The key to seeing the success is consistency over time. This consistency over time comes from the everyday practice of getting out of the way and letting the Spirit of God live through your life.
If you have any questions or you're uncertain how this works in your life, leave a comment. Let's talk about it.
2 comments:
I have an (online) friend who had a podcast about Motivation. One of the things I (and he) started observing is that 'motivation' is artificial.
I think this is kind of what you are hitting at. We fail unless the drive is inherit, from the spirit.
Second thought- We can see the grass needs mowing, but can we see our marriage needs attention? Can we create some marker that alerts us? (Of course, getting 'the look' is one, but its a little late at that point.)
Funny you should mention the realization that marriages need help. That's why I feel communication is critical - something my wife and I constantly work on.
What's more, I was talking to someone the other day about sexual relationship. I believe that a couple's sex life is the most accurate barometer of their relationship. From that perspective you can truly see if things need attention.
Dave, thanks for checking in and leaving your comment.
B
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