Sex and Fruit

I've been talking to people recently about sexual relationships, pornography, and how they relate to everyday marriage relationships.  This led me to re-read a very good book by Lewis Smedes called Sex for Christians.  I've also had one eye on the 3-part man concept, where the Holy Spirit lives through a Christian person.  I know from Smedes and from my Bible that sexual intimacy is this awesome thing God gave us that (when he created us in his own image) that is both physical and spiritual - logical and irrational - predictable yet mysterious.  the truth is that, when it's gotten right, sexual intimacy is a thing that the human vocabulary, in any language, cannot accurately and exactly describe.  

I believe that when a husband and wife are living fully in the spirit, the pleasure and ecstasy  of sexual union is limitless.  As indescribably awesome as that is, the sad reality is that this potential is left unrealized in the majority of marriages.  Further and tragically, some spouses use the miracle of married intimacy as a weapon.  What's more, I believe that a couple's sex life is a pretty accurate measure of the rest of the marriage.  As things go in the bedroom, so things go in day in -day out life.  

As I said before, I've had a lot of thoughts on sex and intimacy running through my head in the last week or so.  Finally, there is some clarity coming to all the chaos.  I've come up with an experiment, and i'd like to invite you (challenge you) to try it with me.  This will require some effort on your part; but you're a real man, so I'm sure you'll have no problem with it.  

First, you'll need to locate your Bible.  Look up Proverbs 5:18,19 and Galatians 5:22 and read them over well.  I'm not going to quote them here because I want you to go out and find them.  The next step is to set aside some time alone with your wife and talk to her about this experiment.  Remember, these things work best when you involve your spouse.  Secret spouse improvement missions usually end badly and I discourage them.  

The idea is to take the encouragement of Solomon, the Bible's most celebrated lover, and overlay the Fruit (not fruits) of the Spirit over it.  How cool would it be if you and your spouse could enjoy each other the way he encourages in the Proverb and add to it joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control?

The last part of the challenge is to work this out with your wife.  Take an hour at Starbucks or turn off the TV after the kids go to bed.  Discuss the concept with her and, together, decide what this looks like in your bedroom.  Every married couple is different.  You and your spouse have a completely different dynamic in your intimacy that I and my wife do.  Don't be afraid to talk about how the elements of Galatians 5:22 will work under the sheets.

A final note.  Guys - tattoo these three Bible verses somewhere where they'll be in the front of your mind all the time.  Tape them on the steering wheel of your car, the bathroom mirror, put them on the screen-saver of your laptop, make a new ring-tone - anything that will keep you focused on them.  I'm gonna take a cue from my 14 year old daughter who writes everything on her hand.

Let's see what happens when we look to a couple of Biblical all-stars to craft (<---that's a verb ) a better life with our spouses.

Thanks for stopping by.