Sunday, January 4, 2009

Lessons From the Farm

Most of my family has been involved in farming to one extent or the other.  The time I spent on my uncle's farm along with countless stories from my family about their life experiences, taught me a lot about the rewards and satisfaction of hard work and more than one life lesson.  

If you've never been to a horse pulling competition I would encourage you to find time to get down to the county fair to see it.  It's an amazing display of beauty and raw power as these magnificent animals compete.  Two horses are hitched together and the driver leads them out to the stone boat that can weigh anywhere from 7000 to 10,000 pounds.  The driver takes his seat on the boat and the hands drop the hitch pin into the clevis on the boat.  As soon as the horses hear that pin drop they squat down and start pulling.  It's incredible!  

A wise old horseman once told me some facts from down on the farm that give a very simple illustration of what life could be like for couple if they would only invest some effort into their relationships.   A single draft horse can pull as much as two or three thousand pounds all by itself.  Put another horse with it and two can pull double the weight - maybe a bit more.  But if those two horses are hitched together regularly, get to know one another, and are trained by the horseman, the two - working with what they've learned about each other - can pull upwards of ten thousand pounds.

As I think about it, I'm more than a little frustrated about how little effort American culture is willing to expend on being married and how quick people are to quit the team.  It's true - a single parent can raise a family.  It's also true that a two parent family works better (pulls more weight).  But think of the possibilities of a man and wife who work together, leveraging their strengths and compensating for each other's weaknesses and what an impact they can make on their world!   That's awesome stuff!  

All to often though, we seem to be hitched together - one horse going in one direction and the other in another direction.  As husband and wife we're not even facing the same direction, let alone pulling anything together.  In some cases they're hitched but only one horse is pulling and the team just goes around in circles.  All this wasted potential frustrates me to no end when I hear of yet another couple filing for divorce.  

I want more than anything to see the couples closest to me side-by-side in the hitch, taking lessons from the master horseman, and getting as much distance out of every pull in life that they can.  

If you're married, make time this summer to take your spouse to the fair on horse pulling night.  Buy her some cotton candy and take a lesson from the farm.   You won't regret it.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great article. I saw your card In the restroom at biggby on Leonard and fuller. Good topics here.

Bert DeVries said...

I appreciate you taking the time to comment. There's some great stuff coming in the future. Please stop by again.

Bert

Dave J. said...

Great metaphor, Bert! It rings true.

Now, when explaining it to my wife, I had to be careful not to call her a horse.

Bert DeVries said...

Agreed! Addressing your wife as a horse is a bad career move!