The Lonely Ranger

Most psych people will tell you that a man's self esteem is mainly tied to his job. When we as men have a great job, good pay, and the respect of our peers, life is good. But what about those times when we macho men and our jobs aren't so well? What happens when the job leaves us? Where do we get our sense of self then? Our strength of character leaves us. We become vulnerable and unsure. For most men, vulnerability and uncertainty equate to inadequacy and feelings of weakness. I know it does for me.

I live in Michigan where the economy is terrible and jobs are lost by the dozens. Men are out of work and scrambling to do anything they can to produce income. If you're in a crappy job or a situation where you have no work and are struggling to find a job, I 'd like you to consider something. Consider that your worth as a man may be seen elsewhere. Instead of looking at your paycheck to measure your weight as a man, look to a community of men.

No man is an island and I don't believe we were created to be lone wolves. In today's popular culture Hollywood and the advertising people would like us to believe that real men don't cry and are rock solid in the face of crisis. The lifestyles of both men and women in today's culture approach insane levels of required energy and committment of time - and that is when things are going well. When the proverbial monkey wrench is thrown into the mix it can send any person, man or woman - husband or wife - mom or dad - into fits.

I would like you to consider that in order for us as men to be effective leaders of our families (in good times or in bad times) we need to draw on the collective strength of each other. I can tell you from my experiences that I could not have made it to where I am today without key men in my life that have surrounded me with love and encouragement and helped me through the difficult times. If I were on my own Iwouldn't be here writing this post.

Are you alone, overwhelmed, discouraged, frustrated, pissed off, or defeated? If you said yes to any one of these I encourage you to find another man, or a group of men, and share what you're going through. Just be careful who you choose to share with. A bar tender, bowling league guy, or your wife's best friend are probably not wise choices. Choose someone who will encourage you to walk a good path. This isn't always easy to do. If you can't find anyone, share here. There are men here that will encourage you through this blog.

Regardless of who or where you share your struggles in life, don't make the decision to go it alone. By making that choice you set yourself up for failure. Plug in to a community of men and draw on the strength of the collective. Restore your sense of self worth by accepting the encouragement of another male. Then face the world ready to do battle knowing you're part of the army and not the Lone Ranger.